This show is lasting forever. With only 13-episodes, you’d think it would be going by incredibly fast especially since there have been no breaks since it premiered in January, but it really is lasting forever. Bitten has become like pulling teeth with the novacaine and everything. There’s no real pain, just the ongoing feeling of a numb mouth and someone knocking around in there and taking their sweet time doing it. The show is no longer outright offensive if only because it’s settled into an underwhelming groove that makes it impossible to hate-watch since the show’s seemingly content with (at best) mediocrity and (at worst) just being boring, and that continues with “Prisoner” as Elena and Clay try to save a poisoned Jeremy.
For a minute there, Elena and Clay weren’t all that terrible. In fact, they were pretty much fine. With Nick dealing with Antonio’s death elsewhere (more on that later), Logan still in Toronto and everyone else dead, Elena and Clay had some quality time together that wasn’t entirely focused on their romantic past. If Bitten went with this , let Elena and Clay work alongside one another not as adversaries and not as people trying to work through their invisible attraction to one another but as allies in a war, they could build on that to something more significant. It seemed like it may have been going there until it all came back around to their sloppy romance. When Elena found Cain’s girlfriend Amber and learned of Cain’s refusal to turn her because of the risk of her death, she was reminded of how Clay had risked her life by biting her cuing an argument where Elena essentially told Clay his idea of love was incredibly skewed if he was willing to risk her life.
On its own this wasn’t bad. On the contrary, it was an important distinction to make after having Amber and Cain’s grungy relationship brought to the forefront last week, but the way it all ended up, with Clay telling Elena that it doesn’t matter how they got there, was an eyeroll inducing turn. How Clay rationalizes that it doesn’t matter that he betrayed Elena’s trust, gambled with her life and turned her into a werewolf against her wishes is beyond me (but most of the things Clay does are beyond me). If the show wants to maintain him as a viable romantic interest, they’re going to have to do way better than having him throw his hands in the air and say “Well, what can you do? It’s all in the past.” But I know they won’t do that. And I also know that no one is going to mention the real reason Clay killed Cain. Though he certainly had reasons, like that Cain helped kill Pete and was no longer needed with Jeremy being on the mend, Clay only killed him after Elena basically told him that Cain was more capable of love than he was. I’m sure that really hurt Clay’s feelings, but was she wrong?
While Elena and Clay were dealing with that, Nick was back at his club meeting with a minor character we may have been expected to care about to hide his father’s death. Nick losing his boyish charm and humor in the wake of Antonio’s murder makes sense, and may be one of the most organic things Bitten‘s come up with, but Steve Lund’s performance was flimsy and try-hard. His sex scene with Amanda, though decent, kicked off with some really awkward dialogue about hunting prey which I’d like to just forget about. Before that Nick did the work his father had been doing, making dead werewolves disappear, and though it was an important beat to mention, way too much time was devoted to it, and it was boring. Maybe that’s why the sex scene was thrown in there, to spice up some otherwise humdrum exposition.
Also falling under the humdrum category is Phillip who continued with his back-and-forth with Sylvie (who is really grating actually), but at least his story moved forward when Phillip realized Elena was there the night the video was filmed. Once he saw her neatly folded clothes, and the necklace he gave her for their anniversary, he called to awkwardly question her about it. Obviously his first assumption isn’t that Elena’s the wolf he saw killing the coyote, but he thinks Elena and Logan are having sex? Maybe? Or that Elena just likes to go running around naked with her cousin? Whatever it is he thinks is going on, he’s very suspicious of Elena, and with videographer Nate suddenly missing, Phillip’s not going to drop this. With the emphasis being placed on Amber knowing about werewolves (and that meaning she has to be killed), I wonder if the Pack would be so triggerhappy if it was Elena’s human boyfriend they had to take out.
There was no Logan and Rachel this episode aside from Jeremy wanting Nick to find out what’s going on with him and being shut down because Nick’s sure Logan will come around eventually. Why no one is annoying Logan as much they annoyed Elena about coming back is a giant question mark since things are definitely worse than they were then, and you’d think Jeremy would demand Logan be there to help them, especially after Antonio died. And why Logan is keeping his distance is also a question mark since there’s no reason to believe the Pack would hurt Rachel, right? Born werewolves are a common thing so this has happened before, especially since no women have been werewolves, and it’s always been men passing it on so it’s hard to see what it is that’s got Logan so freaked.
I’m not sure if what I’m doing can be called hate-watching anymore, but we’ve got five episodes left to go.
- I have my suspicions about what it is that Jeremy said he needs to tell Elena, but I’m holding my opinion until it actually comes up.
- What is this thing TV shows like to do when one character says so-and-so is dead, and another character thinks they’re kidding? Who jokes about people being dead? Who jokes about their parents being dead? I’ve never met someone who does that. Are there a lot of people who do that? Can we kill this trope please?
- Before Elena knocked out the window of Cain’s truck, she took her jacket off and wrapped it around her hand. Then she proceeded to use her elbow to break the window. The show struggles a lot.
- The hunt to find out what Jeremy had been poisoned with was amazingly anticlimactic since the whole thing got solved with a blood transfusion in the end. I’ll admit I don’t know a lot of poison or antidotes, but that was an especially simple solution.
- I will say that though Laura Vandervoot is a more bad than good actress at any given moment, her annoyed/disgusted face while Leblanc panted threats into her ear was perfect.
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